Self-Esteem and Self-Concept are the building blocks for the formation of healthy social, emotional, and psychological factors of adolescents. Self-Concept refers to the personal impression, introduced first by Carl Roger’s. Simply stated, self-concept is abstract and involves a positive view of the self, one in which someone “feels good” to continue life’s journey. Self-esteem is the inner person’s judgment of one’s value. Both concepts are heavily planted in early childhood and young adolescent stages.
Youth find importance in activities that are different than those of adults. Teens determine their own value through competencies in academics, athletics, conduct, social relationships (peers), and physical characteristics. Often adolescents are faced with the challenging balancing act of finding enough positive reinforcement in these competency areas, which can cause deficiencies in bio-psycho-social contexts. In addition, the relationships and messages teens receive from parental and adult figures, determines the growth of self-concept and self-esteem. Adolescents who felt that they had a good self-worth tend to be happier. In conjuction, these adolescents enjoyed activities that provided for expression of self-beliefs, emotions, and social relationships. Adolescents who faced negative self-concept and esteem had a poorer self-value and often were less happy, sometimes sad or depressed.
Building self-esteem in teens can be a daunting and difficult task, but is essential in healthy development. There are many avenues to help build and retain an adolescent’s self-esteem; but highlighted below are primary avenues that can begin strong self-esteem building.
1. Be empathetic – Understanding the difficult tasks and responsibilities placed upon teens in various school and home related activities, is an important step in developing a rapport with youth. Let the teen understand that you know they are having difficulties, and that you are a support system that can help guide them.
2. Provide choices – Youth do not fair well to the phrase “trust me, I did that, you don’t want to do that.” Self-exploration through trial and error creates positive self-worth. Provide adolescents the opportunity to participate in areas of their academics, social functioning, household activities, and family choices. A teen can gain the necessary life skills as well as gain positive reinforcement for the choices made.
3. Give positive feedback – Adolescents often are told what it is that they are doing wrong, but are rarely told what it is they are doing well. The strengths perspective in social work, highlights the positive highlights of an individual. Why would children not be treated in the same manner? When working with adolescents, provide positive reinforcement for the good behaviors and a decrease in negative behaviors will follow suit. Positive feedback when used in conjunction with a rewards system, can provide an increase in achievement over many life stages.
4. Do not compare siblings – Siblings that find themselves in constant comparison with one another, compete against one another. The sibling which does not compete, fails. A child whom finds themself failing will not gain the necessary self-worth needed to achieve outlined goals. Teens want to be regarded as individuals with a unique perspective, unique sets of strengths, and a unique self.
5. Set realistic goals – Teens are under increased amount of pressure to be the “best” in everything. Work-out facilities in middle schools, pageants and sports tournaments are longer and more competitive, scholarships and college entrance requirements have increased, and daily schedules are full of activities. Teens, just as adults, are not robots. My mother once said to me, “Too much of something, means something else is lacking.” Let adolescents find different niches; succeed and then fail. Let them have an opportunity to try several different sports, after-school organizations, or work opportunities. Fostering goals that are over-reaching (best in show, MVP, all-state team) can set teens up for disappointing results. Work with your teen to determine their own set of goals for their activities and support them in succeeding.
Using these 5 strategies and others outlined by medical and mental health professionals, can help an adolescent move from the teen years into young adult-hood. As in most relationships, it is important to stress the need for open and free communication. Allow your teen to fully express their positive and negative feelings in a comfortable environment. Use family meetings or dinner times to discuss daily events and provide positive feedback for the expression of emotions. Always provide an ample amount of time for your teen to speak their mind, and then provide empathetic, thoughtful rebuttals that enhance personal growth and deter negative self-worth.
For additional techniques and information regarding self-esteem building in teens, check-out these articles:
Improving Teen Self Confidence
Self-Esteem Activities for Teens
